Recently a decades-old memory has surfaced a few times, so I know to pay attention to it. When my daughter was very young (she’s in her thirties now), we were having a conversation where I mentioned not being able to do something (I don’t recall what it was). She listened carefully to my perceived dilemma and then confidently instructed me to “uncan’t yourself and do it,” That became our mantra for a long time whenever we were struggling with anything. It was her wise way of knowing that nothing was impossible. She even took that one step further by using her bicycle to blaze a trail in the narrow wooded area of our country home, and christened that The Uncanted Forest where she would go riding when she was working to find a solution to a challenge. How brilliant. With that fresh in my mind, I am revisiting some of my lifelong “can’ts,” and turning them into “How am I able to make them happen?”.
For example, rather than try harder, I once surrendered to the idea that I couldn’t play the flute. I adopted this idea when my daughter played the instrument in high school and I picked it up and tried for less than a minute to produce a note. I was unsuccessful, so it was easier to declare that an “I can’t” rather than make a better effort. The same goes for drawing. Ever since I took an art class in ninth grade and compared my work to my fellow students’, I have been delivering the “I can’t” rant whenever drawing is mentioned. Most recently, I have been using those two words often in association with my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. Way to focus on your “limitations,” Mary.
With my daughter’s sage wisdom echoing in my mind, I am reminded of Jim Rohn’s quote that has moved me forward many times, “If you really want something, you'll find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse.” I had risen to the level of queen of excuses, and found one in every aspect of my life to use as a reason not to take steps ahead. We do this collectively in so many ways. We say we need more money, time, opportunity. We blame our busyness, trauma, other people, patterns, or get caught up in “issues.” We step away from our ability to see what is available to us, right in front of us. Now.. And never mind the “we.” That was me, and I found my attitude unacceptable to the point of almost pathetic, especially since I reap so much love from cheerleading others in realizing their dreams, insisting nothing is impossible.
Recognizing my need, willingness and ability to change, I am. A friend gave me a flute, and I am teaching myself how to play, practicing every day. Another friend sent me a set of colored pencils, and I am drawing more, getting better every time. I am walking more every day, building the strength in my legs. Can’t is no longer in my vocabulary. I am replacing that with, “What do I need to do to accomplish this?” The resources are somewhere, and people are available to help if I reach out. The answer is always in me. It feels mighty fine to be walking in that forest again. Even if my tune, pictures and gait are less than perfect, my attempts sure are fun.
FROM THE SANCTUARY
The Ohio countryside and culture of this quaint village continue to inspire awe in me. The air is thick with kindness, and manifests in the form of new friends each day. Frequent evening drives allow me to take in the endless miles of cornfields, and walks in the woods expose me to every shade of green imaginable and a still healing factor that my soul was crying out for. The rain seems different here, delivered in fierce storms that leave as quickly as they arrive. Indoors, my carpet is complete, and I now have a gathering space, joy room for guests to sleep and play in (all it needs is a toy box) and my bedroom which doubles as a writing studio. It leaves me breathless to consider how big it is, fitting my book collection and my bed. A new “desk” brilliantly recycled by a friend from curbed cherry kitchen cabinets serves as my coveted writing desk, which looks out onto a field swarming with birds, bunnies and deer. It’s paradise, all of my own making.
May you be blessed this way. Scrap those limitations so you are able to see and allow the possibilities.
Love it!!!